There’s a good chance that if you’re browsing this website you were born in the 1980s. A lot happened in that decade. John Lennon was shot, the Berlin wall came down, Sega’s ‘Master System’ was released (as were the first two Terminator Films), and Elisha Cuthbert was gifted to the world. We think it’s the best decade in which to have been born. If you were, here are a few things that should bring back memories. Do it for old times’ sake…
Time for you and your friends to order in a load of pizzas, make yourself comfortable on the couch and enjoy some episodes of the TMNT. Adopted by the wise sensei Splinter, these radical dudes were taking down douches like Beebop, Rocksteady, Shredder and Krang before you’d even thought about April O’Neil in that way.
Remember these? Yeh, you could pump up your shoes with a little button on the front. Only the cool kids had them back in the 1980s, but now that mummy doesn’t buy your clothes anymore you can do whatever the hell you like. Get a pair.
Who doesn’t remember ‘Goosebumps’, the scariest collection of horror stories since the Old Testament? This one’s a classic – you’ll never be able to take a photo again (ok, just humor me here).
Remember when your parents first bought a sodastream? Remember what crazy sodas you made with it? Problem was, they were (almost) always non-alcoholic. For under $100 you can get creative and experiment with things like lemon-ginger-raspberry cola or grapefruit-blackberry sparkling water. Then just shove a load of vodka in there and you’ll be set for the pre-game.
Just before the 1980s there were dinosaurs walking the earth (ask your parents). ‘The land before time’ remains our most accurate depiction of these majestic beasts (yes, even more accurate than Jurassic Park). It’s also the most heart-wrenching movie you’ll ever see. Don’t be ashamed about crying into your popcorn.
Tamagotchis were what everyone had before they were allowed real pets. And who wants real pets anyway? You have to buy them real food and clean up real shit. And you can’t just press the reset button when they die. Learn how to care for something other than yourself with an old school tamagotchi.
Although Madonna may now be older, richer and more muscly than she was twenty five years ago, she doesn’t write better songs. The 1980s was her peak, with releases like ‘Material Girl’, ‘Dress You Up in My Love’, and ‘Into the Groove’. You’ll find them all on this album. Oh, and if you’re still a virgin, get some help from these pheromones.